Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Finally Morally Devastating


I'm listening to really sappy music, talking to a friend about dealing with death and I just finished The Reader, which ended up being the first book to make me cry in a long time. I started it this morning and, between classes and free time after school I finished it. I couldn't bear to put it down and when I had finished, I closed it with a sense of...closure, I suppose. Imagine that. I walked away from it stunned, and with a new perspective on love, ethics, innocence, desire, history, decisions, coping and reading itself. It's been a while since I found a book like this. They come through a person's life so rarely, so that when one does, I cling to it with all my soul. One of those books that you know will stick with you long after you've read it. The kind that, on a rainy day that's perfect for reading, when you don't quite have the drive to start a new book, you can always pick back up and jump back into.
My favorite kind.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Last Wish


I'm dying. Please wear your sexy jeans to my funeral.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Self Destruct. Now.


feeling like a bad personnever meant to hurt youthought we were okay, apparently notcan't we just go back?i miss the friends we wereplease don't hate mei'll never forget youi'm sorry that i loved you.

Monday, September 7, 2009

New Favorite Photographer


Max Wanger is my new favorite photographer. His photos are stunning. Especially his portraits and things. You should all check him out.
Now.

I'm The Kinda Guy Who Laughs At Funerals


I work at Greensburg Country Club in the banquet department. I'm basically a fancy waitress who doesn't get tips. And who has to wear a silly tuxedo vest. One time a man told me that I was "such a good little penguin." Also, all of us girls on staff seem to get hit on a lot. Whether this is a by-product of our uniforms or alcohol consumption, I have no idea. But I don't understand it, because, as I told a good friend the other day, it's not like we're scantily clad Hooters girls with our bazoomas all akimbo and there for the taking. We're tired, harassed, food-smeared girls in tuxedo shirts and vests. But I digress.

We do a lot of weddings at the Club. Like, every weekend. And every single time the new couple goes to the dancefloor for their first dance, I cry like a little girl. It s different couple every weekend, different wedding colors, different "how we got together" story, different dress, different song, but its the same every time. Every time, the bride looks up at her new husband, so sure that this is the man who will be wrapping his arms around her for the rest of her life; who will be taking care of her, comforting her, laughing with her, crying with her for as long as she lives. And every time the groom looks down at his new wife with the love and assurances of a thousand lifetimes, knowing that this is the woman he wants standing next to him for the rest of his life.

And every time their song starts to play, even though I don't know the stories behind those songs, I know that it means something to them. It was playing in the restaraunt on their first date, or every time they turned on the radio it seemed to come on, or it played after the first time they told each other how much they loved each other, or it just describes them so well that it means the world to them. And I cry.

Last night I went to Mike's cousin's wedding. I had never met the happy couple before in my life, but, as usual, when they started swaying to their song of choice, the tears started flowing. Mike laughed at me, but not before I saw him swipe a hand over his own eyes. We were holding hands and looked at each other. and it felt like we got caught in each other's eyes; like we couldn't look away. It was lovely, and I cried more. Cause that's what I do at weddings, apparently. It was a beautiful moment, and I think his mom got a picture of it. Hahah.

I don't know why I'm saying all this. It isn't my usual style at all. I just...it made me happy.
By the way, the picture I used for this post is Fe and Jason, the couple whose wedding I attended last night. Aren't they adorable?