Cali, Here I Come

I'm off to California. Yay. So you won't be hearing from me for the next week and a half. Wish me luck. Pray that I don't kill my family...and that they don't kill me. And that I don't get sunburned too badly or drowned or eaten by a stupid whale or trampled by a horse or killed in a plane crash or beaten with a volleyball or whatever else could possibly happen to me in my travels. And don't hesitate to call me if anything interesting happens while I'm away. (make sure Jack knows that the casting list for Grease counts as something interesting and as soon as anything is known he needs to call me. Also if Mara cries or there's a catfight over the casting of Rizzo: CALL ME.) Have a Merry Christmas everyone! I love you! I'll see you on the flip side.

later.

There Are Worse Things I Could Do Than Screw Up an Audition or Two...

I failed. Epically. I tanked the first audition and, for one reason or another I was given a second chance at it. And I failed even worse at the callbacks. The thing is, I don't get nervous. Not bad nervous. I learned a long time ago to channel nervous energy into excitement. And I couldn't do it last night. I couldn't do it and I got sent home. It's not even that I wanted a part in the show that badly. I did, but that's not what I'm really upset about. What upsets me the most is that because this is the only time these people have ever heard me sing, that's what they think I sound like. And these are people I respect and I know they respect me as an actor and a person, but I need them to respect me as a singer. Because I'm a singer waaaaay before I'm an actor. Heck, I'm a singer way before I'm a person half the time. And I can sing. I'm not being vain, I'm not bragging. I'm being truthful. I sing like a big black woman. And the directors of the show (the people whose respect I crave so badly) will never know that because they've only ever heard me completely blow two auditions. It's incredibly frustrating.

Libertine

I think he does agree. Why does he remind me of Billie Joe?

Woah

oh my.
that was unexpected.

With Love, From Me To You

What ever did become of the likely lads?

What became of the dreams they had?

What happened to forever?

We'll never know.

Those kites we flew together,
I thought they'd fly forever.
Why won't it fly?
Time flies,
time dies.
You're not what you own,
you're not alone.
We weren't alone.
by this point in the studio time...
now i'll take it it's better for you
somehow we'll make it cause that's what we do
these things tell us how we fit with each other
even if we don't know how we fit anywhere else.
escapade.
this will linger, i'm almost sure of it.
you were right,
it lingers.
linger.
such a good word.
it means:
1. to remain or stay on in a place longer than is usual or expected, as if from reluctance to leave
2. to dwell in contemplation, thought, or enjoyment
3. to remain alive; continue or persist, although gradually dying, ceasing, disappearing




i like the last one the best. don't you agree?

More Truth

you don't live up to yourself

Off The Couch

Just do it already.

You're driving me crazy. Stop talking to other people. Talk to me. Ugh. This could (should) be so much simpler.

How To Deal With Silly People (or at least how I deal with them.)

"you should know i'm disaster."

"you should know i love you anyway."

"no you don't, you just think you do."

"what's the difference between loving you and thinking i love you?"

"one way you'll eventually leave me and the other you won't."

"i'll never leave you."

"yes you will, you just think you won't."

"hush."

"did you just-?"

"hush."

Vinyard Gossip

questions.
so many questions.
it's fitting, though;
many questions
for the sake of much affection.
would you...?
do you...?
could we...?
i heard through the grapevine
some news about you.
it made me smile
and i sent some news of my own
back in your direction.
but i'm bored of the grapevine lately.
lets take another step already.
cut out all the middle men and
gossipy high school girls.
lets talk.
lets ask the questions we've been afraid
to even ask ourselves.
so many questions.
but there's more than enough time
for you and i.
more than enough for all the
questions.

Goodbye Waves and Driveways

I love this song. If you haven't heard it, you need to. Now. Go.


"Just walk away
Gather your thoughts for the second wave
Of this argument on this epic changing day
Its crazy to think that an hour ago all things were great
But we stand here both proud both wrong and right
Throwing cheap shots in this stubborn fight
And our lives are so intertwined in one
But we're just so stuck in this moment it's clear that were coming undone

And I don’t know exactly how it is
That we can be so mad we consider to not exist
When we both know there’s so much love clenched within our fists

The goodbye waves in the driveway they just resonate
And yes I am throwing it right back at her
While were drowning in rivers from our faces
We just wanna know if, this is this over
A trembling silence fills the air
As we stand here so impaired, so aware

I sit in this house
Alone with fresh photographs
And I just can’t relax
And like cigarette smoke, I’m starting to choke on this
That half of my soul is on the road in a car with a girl in a dress

And I don’t know exactly how it is
That just to say I’m right your wrong we both lose to win

The goodbye waves in the driveway they just resonate
And yes I am throwing it right back at her
While were drowning in rivers from our faces
We just wanna know if this, is this over
A trembling silence fills the air
As we stand here whoa-oh

Hey maybe it's time that we stopped and we realized
Like a flag in the wind we are one
And how at first it’s made so pure and lovely
But in battle can be torn to shreds
But with time and with patience and love and affection
Can be fixed with needle and thread
Remember me
Remember me


And don't walk away..."