Shambling

two piercing eyes
glanced into two piercing eyes
and energies met head-on
we tiptoe around
like heartbreaking new friends.
tiptoe-ing in that phophorescent void.
heartbreaking.
my nutty surrealist low-voiced serious staring talk
and your critical anti-everything drawl
leaning together, hands waving wildly,
conversing excitedly,
when beings like this collide,
we are attacked with the great amorous soul
we have just created
like a huge benzedrine hallucination.
it all sounds so much more poetic in words,
it all felt so much more poetic in emotions,
in looks, in such an unreal reality.

We Went to New York

rainbow child,
do you hear the dear nightingales
nodding on the branches outside your window?
in the distance
your paper-mache mountains
smile as they sing a lullaby
just for you.
your universe is entirely crazy,
cock-eyed and strange.
your universe in all its entirety.
beware, child, of your own foolish whims.
they'll ask you questions like
"you going to get somewhere, or just going?"
you won't understand, but you should know
it's a good question.
and your answer will say it all.

Weather Or Not

rain is just jealous snow.
cause they're both wet,
but rain isn't as fun.

The Sound of Your Breathing

You've been coming around more often lately. Or perhaps I've just been more aware of you. I hear your whispers throughout my entire day now. Running commentary on my decisions and answers to my questions for you. You have a sense of humour! Who knew? You used to reside in the back of my mind, but that's not where I want you to be anymore. I'm keeping you in front now, every moment of every day. I want to hear you before I hear myself. I want your words to be my words. I need you close all the time. You, sitting next to me in school. You, holding my hand when I'm nervous. You, your arms around me, comforting me when I need it most. You, lying next to me, holding me at night. My head against your chest, the rise and fall, the pattern of your breathing, the beating of your heart, so full of love that I can barely stand it. It's an uncomfortable thought to think--that you love me as much as you do, yet it's the biggest comfort I've ever experienced. What could be better than to be loved by someone who knows nothing but love for me?

WIthout Saying

There are good reasons, there are bad reasons-but most of all, there are too many reasons. They cloud, they crush, they decieve. They are too much and never enough.

There is an avoidance in everything. Avoidance, and invention. Ramona rings Milo's doorbell. William watches Ramona as she mentions the still point of morning, Ramona rings the doorbell again. WIlliam invents Ramona. Ramona invents Milo. They are all invented.

And you...you are not invented. Who do you invent? It goes unspoken.

To love--to fall--is not a question.

To touch--to kiss--to speak--these are questions.

There is nothing worse than a ruined friendship. There is nothing better than a companion. Somewhere in between lies risk.

Somewhere in between, lies.

He Says

she is the thing he is most afraid of

and the thing he is most in need of.

in order to hold her

he has to let go of the control

he has held onto for so long.

she makes him want to stand up

and yell;

not even yell words.

nonsense.

a language of love,

a language of youth,

a language of impulse and beauty.

she makes him frown in concern,

but she makes him laugh in relief,

grin in amusement

and guffaw in disbelief.

all in all

he figures it's slightly more than worth it.

she makes him

the person he wants to be.

She Says...

he makes her want to get out of here.
he makes her want to peel off her skin
and step right out of it
it's too tight, far too restricting
for the spontaneity he inspires in her.
people think she's on drugs when
she says stuff like that.
because of him.
he makes her want to dance in the rain.
he makes her want to die.
she laughs more with him than anyone else
and she's cried more times over him
than she cares to count.
he makes her alive

Interrogation

Have you ever met someone who made you feel comfortable in your own skin, when you never have before?

Have you ever met someone who, in the purest, simplest way possible, you could not get close enough to, just because you feel safer in their arms than you do anywhere else in the world?

Have you ever met someone that you wanted to be with more than anything, but knew that under no circumstances could things ever possibly end with the two of you together?

Have you ever loved and lost?

Have you ever loved and not gotten the chance to lose?

Do you ever feel you were born in the wrong time, in the wrong place?

Have you ever felt any of this about me?

456

we didn't bother to say we'd keep in touch.

why lie to ourselves?

besides, touch isn't something you can keep over a distance.

perhaps we'll keep in words. probably not.

weird, isn't it?

for two people who know basically nothing about each other,

we have quite a story, don't we?

it's a good thing that smiling is free cause tears definitely aren't.

they cost far more than i'd like to think about.

Goodbye Is Only Painful When You Know You'll Never Say Hello Again

it feels like a lover i won't see in the morning

so i keep my eyes open through the night.

i take these things

for more than what they're worth,

i take each kiss for more

than what it's meant to be.

call me a hopeless romantic,

call me just plain pathetic,

i am what i feel and

tonight i'm not that much

-the new is in

i didn't wait for you after the last bell.

i thought about it;

believe me, i did.

but our previous salutation

was so perfect;

one last time

one for the road, it's been fun.

i didn't want to ruin it all

with public displays of affection

public displays of rejection.

i just came to say

goodbye love.

Psalm 139

i can't be wonderfully made without fear. i can't be fearfully made without wonder. when i awake (I AM) still with you. i don't want to know about you, i want to know you. i don't want to love you, i want to fall in love with you. first love: talking on the phone for hours--not even talking; just listening to the sound of each other breathing, teased by friends, it all seems so silly but it's not, it's the best thing that's ever happened to you. that's what i want with you. i want to be so enamoured with you that my friends don't understand it. they think it's silly and they tease me about it, but you're the most real thing i've ever experienced. i want to listen to you breathe for hours at a time, i want to know what you're going to say before you've said it. that's how well i want to know you. you are the Alpha and Omega and everything in between. your hands are strong enough to bear the universe and gentle, careful enough to knit together my inmost being, knot by knot. you never change but your grace is new every morning. no man can look upon your face and live, but we are invited to draw near to you. and draw near to you i shall. i will no longer be content to sit safely on the cliff as your hand covers me so that i may glimpse your back. i will be the fool who dares run toward you, who dares to gaze upon you, because i know it will be worth it, just to see your face. the disciples were martyred and imprisoned all for three years of time with you, yet i would die for just a moment, just a touch, just a word. that is how beautiful you are. you are far more than worth dying for; you're worth living for.

Can You Guess The Theme?

It Ain't Me, Babe

i look back

one year to the day from last week

did those things actually happen?

could have they?

they did.

i remember

exactly what i wore

the exact look on your face

the exact feel of your hand in mine

the exact things you said to me.

and now.

did that actually happen?

could it have?

it did.

i know i cried

i know the sound of your pity

i know your absence

i know what you said

words that meant nothing

to my heavy heart.

i thought...

i thought wrong.