How 'Bout That?

I learned all the words for you

Never Underestimate

everyone knows he's the key to her descent into madness.

except her.

or maybe she does know.

maybe she knows full well and just doesn't care.

maybe some things are worth a little madness.

Halfway There

One baby to another says, I'm lucky to have met you

I don't care what you think unless it is about me

It is now my duty to completely drain you.

you drain me.

and the scary part is, i don't mind at all.

A Love-Hate Relationship. Mostly Love. Only Love. Forget Hate.

everytime i open my mouth to tell you i'm done with this, you tell me you love me. you startle the words away from me.

every time i nearly call you some horrible name, you cut me off, call me honey or sweetheart. i melt every single time.

every time i want to tell you to get away from me, you tell me to come closer. invariably, i obey.

each time i'm about to say it's over, you render me speechless

you hand me a card and it's homemade. a collage of landscapes held together with scotch tape, not glue, and already it's coming apart at the edges. rolling hills, starry skies, sudden icebergs, eternal oceans all simultaneously crashing together and pulling apart. you've given me the world, beautiful even as it rips at the seams. so like life that it hurts. so like us that i can't help but smile through my misty eyes. i open its delicate front page and on the inside in your capslock print is written "THIS IS ALL FOR YOU." you've given me something i'll keep forever.

I Will Be Tasting Your Starlight Until The End of My Life

everything drifts, always,

always,

always,

always

in waves.

the heart may (will) fail us.

but i can tell you're a wonderful person

by the way you talk with your eyes.

we are more than most will ever find.

"i wake up looking to see which way to roll

to get back in your arms."

i would miss you much because i love you much;

we just weren't meant to say goodbyes.

let's make this always a forever.

I Wish I Didn't Have To Take Your Word For It

I'm tired.

Just.

SO.

tired

of reaching

and wondering whether

it's even worth it.

You said it was worth it.

You said it was.

But what proof do I have of that?

How do I know you won't let me down

as hard as the rest of them did?

The Grass Is Greener

saying your name is like saying "look at those clouds,"

calling your name is like shouting "I LOVE YOU" in a foreign language,

whispering your name is like singing a cold and broken "hallelujah."

and all that is far more amazing than i could ever hope for.

but...

being near you is like being in the clouds,

and holding your hand is like saying "I Love You" in a language that anyone who saw could understand,

and your arms around me is like the most wonderful hallelujah ever raised to the heavens.

"You've Already Set Me On Fire."

i adore this. i adore this i adore this. i adore this.

i adore this.

it's just right, isn't it?

it is.

the whole thing is just right.

Scared Witless

You terrify me.

...and I've never been so happy to be scared witless.

Celtic Lore

My claddagh never knows which way to face these days.

When I've got this many decisions to make

as it is,

how can I possibly be expected to have time to truly

decide which direction a heart should point?

Phony

Once upon a time

(last year)

my best friend lent me a book called-

(It was The Catcher In The Rye)

-The Catcher In the Rye.

I had been meaning to read the book for years

(ages, really)

but had just never gotten around to it.

(Anyway)

It is now one of my very favorite books. Holden Caulfield is my man.

(Which I've never really understood, because, honestly, if I ran around getting kicked out of school and wasting my daddy's money on alcohol and hookers that I didn't even use, well it wouldn't be considered very charming would it? And yet Holden, this fictional character, does all that and more and people fall for him every time. Humanity gets stranger every day...)

I love him anyway. Back to the subject at hand. I think I fell in love with the cover of the book long before I fell in love with Holden. The copy of the book I was lent was an edition I had never seen before. The cover was completely white with nothing on it but the title of the book and Salinger's name. But in the upper lefthand corner a small rainbow crossed the corner diagonally. It was odd and intriguing, minimalist yet colourful and I adored it.

(Don't judge a book by its cover.)

Yes, in this case I am guilty of just that, I fear.

(Always a victim of the advertising world...)

Shut up.

( :P )

Mature. Anyway. Eventually, like all borrowed books, this one had to be returned to its rightful owner.

(A concept that renders us not particularly fond of libraries.)

Which broke my heart. You don't understand. I loved this book. Besides its wonderful cover and strangely enchanting contents, it had even more appealing aspects. The once pure white cover had been marked with rings from a coffee cup or two being placed on its face and the pages were tan with time and wear. In a few years I wouldn't be surprised to come across this very book, bound with scotch tape and its page 82 fluttering out of its spine.

("Fluttering out of its spine?" What a strange concept...)

I wasn't pleased with the thought of owning a new copy of the book, but knew I couldn't possibly go on without it in my life. I set out on a search to find the same edition as the one I had read, but was unable to find it anywhere. I was told once that that had been the 1951 edition and probably wasn't printed anymore.

(She despaired.)

I despaired. Once in a fit of frustration I told a dear friend of mine about my book plight. This was a month or so ago.

(So ago...so ago...so ago...it rhymes.)

Then, yesterday I was at church when the aforementioned dear friend walked up to me and said "I have a present for you."

(I love presents!)

Out of her bag she pulled a book. A book that looked like it had come straight from a used bookstore in 1951 with its tanned and worn pages and crinkled edges. A white book with nothing on the cover but...

THE CATCHER IN THE RYE

JD SALINGER

and a little rainbow in the upper lefthand corner.

(Thank you. You don't know how much it really means to her.)

Falling Again

you smell like gasoline

and i smell like sharpie ink.

together we make one big flammable mess.

so let's do it now. let's burn this place down.

we can watch from a distance

or go up in smoke with it.

it doesn't make much of a difference to me.

either way, you've already set me on fire.

Light Snow Flurries With A 98 Percent Chance of Shenanigans

cancel everything.

close all the doors behind you.

put down the back seat and

break out your best umbrella,

we'll call it a day.

we'll call it our day.

Could I Possibly Think of Lamer Things To Say?

The first time I met him, he was wearing his Switchfoot t-shirt. The one with the cover of Oh! Gravity on it. The artwork on that album has always seemed incredibly reminiscent of that of Revolver to me. But I'm not here to discuss the similarities between the album artwork of Switchfoot and The Beatles. I digress. Now, every time I see one of their albums in BestBuy or my iPod's shuffle setting offers up one of their songs, I can't help but think of him.

He says that when he looks at the stars he feels like himself. When I look at the stars I see someone else.

We are two lines in the same song, he and I--
we're two stars in the same sky.

Starlight

everything's moving so fast here.

i just need time to figure it all out.
but i don't have time.
we don't have time to figure anything out.
"never say never," she had said.
"well, then, almost never," i replied.
i think i may have cursed myself
by insisting on the impossibility of it all,
when it was apparently, in fact, completely
and utterly
possible.

A Playlist Called "For You"...Dedicated to any who will listen

1. "The Way We Get By": Spoon

Spoon. I saw them live. Britt Daniel looked at me. It was heaven in a ninety degree parking lot.

2. "Shadow Stabbing": CAKE

"Adjectives on the typewriter, he moves his words like a prizefighter, the frenzied pace of the mind inside the cell..." My favourite CAKE song ever.

3. "Mexican Wine": Fountains of Wayne

This little tune goes on about ninety-eight percent of my mixes. It just feels right.

4. "Yellow Sun": The Raconteurs

It flows way too well after "Mexican Wine" for it not to be on here. And Jack White is win. I saw him live too.

5. "What Katie Did": The Libertines

Bouncy and so much fun to just kinda bop to. Also, I'm pretty sure this song was custom-written for my dear friend Katie Brown. Listen to the lyrics and tell me you disagree.

6. "Company Car": Switchfoot

"Mike was right when he said I'd put up a fight to be someone, a fight to be me." My little shout out to the kid who doesn't even read this blog, but who managed to get this song stuck in my head for days. "I like this song, it has my name in it--lalala--" I haven't been able to get that guitar riff out of my head since. Thanks, Mike.

7. "Pepper": Butthole Surfers

Just listen to it. It speaks for itself.

8. "Buddy Holly": Weezer

"Whee-oo, I look just like Buddy Holly. Oh-oh, and you're Mary Tyler Moore. I don't care what they say about us anyway, I don't care about that."

9. "Mercy": Duffy

This song. This girl's voice never ceases to astound me. I love it.

10. "Starlight": Muse

"You electrify my life, let's conspire to ignite all the souls that would die just to feel alive." One of my favourite lyrics I've ever heard.

11. "Five Years": David Bowie

It's a song about how there's only five years left before all of earth is destroyed and everyone dies, so everyone has to seize the moment and do everything they've ever wanted to do. Ziggy Stardust knows where it's at...

12. "I Will Follow You Into the Dark": Death Cab For Cutie

One of the most beautiful songs to ever grace the earth with its presence. I love acoustic guitar.

13. "Asleep": The Smiths

Another one of the most beautiful songs ever. Featured in the marvelous novel The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky.

14. "Where Is My Mind?": The Pixies

Hands down, the best bit of soundtracking ever. If you know what I'm talking about, then...well, we probably shouldn't talk about it, should we?

Sometimes Two Such Somebodies

stop time.

stay in the moment.

don't speakdon't movedon't worrydon't wonderdon't think.

just be.

just be with me.

Our Chance

I'm

nervous:scared:anxious:so so so so so happy:so so so so so terrified:confused:missing you:waiting:tired:unsure:baffled:taken aback:making playlists:speechless:unable to shut up:grinning from ear to ear:lost in thought:annoying my friends:torn up:conflicted:wishing the best:wishing the worst:wondering:

My

thoughts are racing:heart is pounding:hands are cold:face is flushed:words are rushed:priorities are set to shuffle:nervous habits are kicking into full gear:nails are bit as far down as they'll go without actually injuring myself:interests are shifting:notebook is filling up:writing hand is cramping up, so i'm typing instead:

It

doesn't matter either way:matters more than anything:scares the crap out of me:makes me want to dance:makes me want to cry:is indescribable:needs described:has had me shaking for days:has had me more content than i've ever been:is wonderful:is strange:is awkward:is perfect:

:you:

I WISH I KNEW IF IT WOULD ALL BE WORTH IT (i wish love was as important as oil:i wish there were more colours)

I WISH I COULD BRING MY DRAWINGS TO LIFE (i wish my life came with a soundtrack:i wish children could be children again)

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

i wish sanity wasn't a statistic:i wish they would open their eyes:i wish there were more heroes:i wish people would accept other people:i wish he felt the same way:i wish it could all end up okay:i wish all these wishes would come true:

:i wish:i wish:i wish:i wish:i wish:i wish:i wish:i wish:i wish:

>i hope<

Seriously.

Sometimes they question the absurdity of their lives.

One day he tells her how he believes love is such a silly emotion. It's important and people live and thrive on it, but it's still so silly when you look at it. And yet it has the single most profound effect on a person's life, tied only with fear. He says he doesn't even call it love anymore, he calls it being retarded for someone. When they hang up the phone that night he tells her he's retarded for her.

She doesn't particularly agree with his philosophy, but adores the sentiment anyway.

A few days later she calls him with the tearful fears of a ruined friendship. He puts on his serious face, and then, since they're on the phone, he puts on his serious voice too. "Dude," he begins, "you two are retarded for each other. The two most retarded people I know. That's all there is to it. You guys are completely and utterly retarded for each other and it'll never be any other way. You know that." She does know. Now that she thinks about it, the phrase "you two are retarded for each other" is the only phrase that could possibly describe her situation. When they hang up the phone that night he tells her he's retarded for her.

She agrees with his philosophy and returns the sentiment.

Life On Mars

And walking, he led her through a blizzard of characters...

She didn't want to be with him forever and always;

she wanted to be with him for the moment

and to have the moments last forever.

Because those moments were the awareness

that they both needed so badly.

She was aware of him and he was aware of her.

And in being so aware of him she was consequently

aware of his awareness of her, making her aware of herself.

Aware of each other, aware of themselves.

Awareness. A funny thing.

Always there, not always able to be put into words.

She can't put him into words.

Misc.

^Abstracty thing. I liked it.

^Lil' squiddly-dude

^Modernized Harley Quinn

^In Portfolio Prep we had to imitate a contemporary artist. I chose Salvador Dali. Whilst searching for inspiration for my assignment I approached a good friend of mine for suggestions. This particular friend is rarely seen without a Monster in her hand (huge caffeine addict). I was struck. Why not paint a giant Monster can melting into the landscape around it? This was the rough draft sketch (done in purple pen, of course). The painting is finished and I'll post a picture of it when I get it home from school, a task easier talked about than carried out, considering as the painting is 4 x 2 1/2 feet...

^Block of wood I found in the art room and decided to make pretty.

^Watercolour of Venice-type scene

^Another abstracty thing that I liked. Much like the first painting in this particular queue. I love the word "queue."

Human Figure

Some human figure and anatomy related drawings and paintings...

^We had to do a drawing of a hand for human figure class. This is what I scrathed out in twenty-five minutes. Egh.
These four (the tooth, the heart, the skull and the hand bones) were a project I did for porfolio prep. We had to do a series of four or more pieces that were related somehow. I grabbed an anatomy book and painted four parts of the body from the diagrams in the book.

I doodled this during an assembly on banking or something incredibly fascinating like that. Me and Blaine got bored and spent the entire time sketching hands. Can you blame us?

Kurt and Davey

A couple shots of portraits of Kurt Cobain and Dave Grohl I did a while back. A bunch of you may have seen these already. Sorry. More recent work will be coming up shortly, I promise.

^Close up of the drawing below
^David Grohl <3

^Close up of the one below

^Kurt Donald Cobain. Also <3

Billie Joe Armstrong

Some Billie Joeses. Cause I don't care what anyone says, he's still my man.

Mis Amigos

Some sketches of my darling friendy-friends.

<<<<<>>>>>

^Profile of LoLo
^LoLo in his goofy old Ireland hat. I don't even think he's Irish. He's German.

^More Logan...

^Zachary the Levickas, playin' la guitara

^Kaleb. This boy makes far too good of a cartoon for me to not draw him. I think it's the hair.

^Me and my chicas! From left to right: plannedconfusion, quinn, and bethy.

^Be-Laine and his Mo-Mo

Out Of Words

I'm out of words. I have been for the past couple days. And lord only knows how long this may last. Last time this happened it was about a month before I really wrote again and people thought I had gone catatonic or something. Anyway. Until my words come back I think I'm just gonna post some artwork up here. See how that goes. Toodles.

Surf Wax America